Feeling better

For me usually if I say "I can't find.." right after I say that, I find it. Or "how do you..." then I figure it out. So the same applies with this Funk Clouds. I typed the post and then really not long after I started feeling like it was dissipating. I am much better today.

I referenced "not doing the depression thing" and Karen asked about that. What I meant was I don't usually get depressed for long periods of time so I don't really understand how it feels or works. I didn't mean to sound flippant toward people who suffer from long bouts of depression.

Wanted to clear that up....I am flippant way too much though ;-)

I also mentioned how I pray. I say "help", and honestly, not much more then that can come out. It's like there is a dog pile of sadness, anger, grief, fear, temptation, whatever is going on at the time, and on the bottom is this sleeping Giant and all I have to say is "Help" and that Giant stands up and throws off all the dogs. And it's actually up to the Giant how many times he allows the dogs to pile up on him. They come back, start to almost cover him and I start to hear everything but His voice saying "all you have to do is say 'Help' and I will throw them off again". BUT thank God one word is all He needs me to say. I don't understand it but I know God is bigger then anything, any dog or dogs that pile up in my mind. I also know he doesn't need me to pray some big theatrical prayer for Him to answer, He loves me so He only needs me to call on Him and He helps.

So, I said "Help" a lot and each time I was able to talk more to Him and hear more from Him and eventually the Funk Cloud was all gone.

I'm Glad that the God of all things, even the Funk cloud, loves me and hears my cry. And I'm glad others prayed for me too. I am so grateful for the prayers.

It's a good day.

That Funk Cloud

It came on slowly this time and settled longer than ever before. Deeper.

I don't do the depression thing. Sure, I've been depressed before. The entire year after Evangeline was diagnosed with Type one Diabetes, I got at least a couple hundred gray hairs and felt like I couldn't breath for months.

Other times I have felt attacked, like spiritual forces were jumping on my brain and digging their claws in. But I did some war fare, and got the victory.

But "being" depressed has never been an issue for me. So, I'm not sure where I am right now. I think it's just everything and nothing, you know what I mean?

There is always something, and event, some drama, a turn in life that takes it over the top and into the heart of the Funk cloud. This time is no different but I sure wish the Funk cloud would go away...sooner then later.

It's like just being around people is hard, it's an effort. Talking to them is work. And that is so not me. I love to talk. I feel like I have this huge sign on my head saying "look at me I'm depressed" YUCK!

So, Dean has been great. I can talk to him better then anyone in the world. Just typing that made tears well up. He really is my biggest fan, my greatest supporter and my best friend. I don't care that he cant quote me the book of Revelations, he shows me Jesus every day in how he loves me and that leads our home better then any religious talk could.

So, bummer I guess. Sorry. I will be back to my normal self soon. I'm praying, which consist of saying the word "help" and He does help. Praying for other people helps too. Been doing that. And I know God has a reason for the Funk Cloud visit...I know he doesn't want me to stay there.

Prayers appreciated.

Not Myself - John Mayer

The Great Story Teller

My grandmother was an orphan. Her mother died when she was a baby and her father was a bridge builder so he left her with relatives and traveled the world building bridges. She rarely saw him while she was growing up. She lived with many different aunts, one who was very wealthy, one who physically abused her and one who she loved like a mother, Aunt Minni. That's who she stayed with the longest.

When she married my grandfather she was 27 years old and had only known him for two weeks. My grandfather was a rebound boyfriend because she had been engaged to another man who she found out had a wife and kids in another state and she was still heart broken over him when my grandfather and her got married.

But she stayed married to him till he died at age 72. Throughout their marriage he cheated on her, hit on her, was an alcoholic for many years and was just mean a lot. But he became a Christian when he was in his late 50's and became a lot nicer then. She had always tried to serve God. God was her comfort and strength.

We lived with my grandmother and grandfather when we were young, from when I was around two years old till about 11 years old. My mom was raising three kids alone, so we had to live with them. My mom and grandfather worked and my grandma would take care of us kids.

My grandmother cried a lot. She also yelled a lot. Very high drama and intensity. She never physically abused us, she spanked us with Switches usually but she didn't hit us. She cooked, cleaned and made everywhere we lived a home. But she was always sad or mad it seemed, rarely happy and upbeat.

Except when she was telling us stories.

She was a great story teller. She had a garden and we would be shucking corn, hulling peas or peeling carrots, for hours on the weekends sometimes so we would ask her about her life. It sounded like a movie, so unreal all the things she went through. But she loved to tell us facts too, educate us by telling us stories from history, or about how food grows or the body works and about the war. World War 2. She was a ship builder in World War 2. She worked in the ship yard on Mobile Bay. She had some great stories.

I think she was happiest when she was telling us her stories. She would light up.

I think that was one of her gifts, story telling. She passed it on to me. Only I tell my stories in writing, I'm not as good at speaking them as she was.

There is a therapy in writing. Especially if you are put on Earth to write. God gave me this gift. The gift of telling my stories and other stories. Ones that I feel burning inside me, that have to be told. The world has to know about this..it could change a life...it could change the world.

That's how I feel sometimes.

Thanks Grandma.

What I did today..

Before..



After...





I did this for Summer.

And for about $100 I'd be happy to give your old table the same treatment :-)

Jesus Culture 09 All I Need - Kim Walker

Have a great weekend, I'll be back Monday.

Random Friday Questions

How many times did the Apostle Paul say the word "Orgy" or the Greek/Hebrew, whatever equivalent in the new Testament?

Am I correct in saying that Paul, in several books of the New Testament, says "I even hear.." or something like that, of sexual immorality of a culture, what they were involved in before becoming Christan's or are still involved in, and how others in that environment are coming apart from that and living for Christ, hoping to influence the ones around them?

Totally off that subject..

Who invented the Mammogram and why haven't they come up with a less painful way of examining women's breast for cancer then putting them in a vice grip?

Did you know Mammograms are only 50% accurate?

Why do people "love" your passion just so long as it doesn't ruffle their feathers, make them feel uncomfortable?

Why can't we all stop worrying about how things "look" and instead concern ourselves with how things ARE and the heart of the matter?

Why does everyone have to freak the geek out over everything?

Talk amongst ya' selves.

Helping the Orphans

As I poured my coffee yesterday morning I prayed for Amanda and her family. They had court for their adoption of the nephews who have lived with them for many years. They already have custody of them and it's a domestic adoption but there still have been a few snags so I'm praying for no more snags.

Today I looked at my E mail and saw that "S" finally got her passport which was holding up the adoption process. (Read her story HERE.) Her mom Jean, is on a plane to Ethiopia right now because they were so desperate to get her adoption completed before she turns 16 in September (after the age of 16 a child can not be adopted from Ethiopia) they decided to go appear before the judge themselves and stay in Ethiopia as long as it took to get their daughter home.

There's also the Cole family,they go to HPC and are just amazing wonderful people. They actually went to live in Guatemala for the Summer so they could be near the daughter they have been trying to get home for almost 2 years. My heart breaks for them having to watch that baby grow up in an orphanage instead of with the family that wants and loves her. But at least now they can all be together for a while and I pray they can get some things done legally so she can be with them permanently.

And just now I looked at pictures of my friend Hope's trip to get her son from Ethiopia last week. He's a beautiful 5 year old boy who lost a leg and is in a wheel chair. I wept seeing her holding him because I know what life would have been like for him in Ethiopia had she not adopted him. He would have been on the streets begging like so many other disabled people in that impoverished country. Hope and her husband already has 5 children, one they adopted from Taiwan who has a birth mark on his face and was considered "unwanted" because of it.

I am in awe of this gift of adoption. It's hard. There are days I think It's too hard. But it's so wonderful also...more-so really. This whole new world we have entered into, that of "Parents of Older former Orphans" is so full of love, grace, challenge, hope, struggle and VICTORY!! The devil hates when we open our hearts to Orphans because we are doing what Jesus told us to do and we are giving hope to a hurting child...we are also chipping away at self in our own hearts and expanding it's capacity for love and that's what Jesus IS!

There are so many stories, so many families now for so many orphans and that makes my heart so happy. I pray more people adopt, sponsor a child, or support organizations that are helping Orphans find families because there are millions more kids who need a family to call their own.

Let Freedom Ring!

"With great power comes great responsibility"
From the movie Spiderman

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA.

Oh how we lie to deny you.

Fire why? Burn inside.
Fly Fly Fly.
Oh How I cry.
How I lie, to deny.

Where's the pain? The Rain.
It's all the same.
Say it again.
Again.

Go and don't look back.
Pack, pack, pack.
And hate what you took.
Leave it there.
Have no fear?
Have no fear.

Forever begs you help.
Today sees you wait.
no eat, no sleep.
Wait.

Where are His feet?
His hands close tight.
A purse.
Close your eyes God
As we let them die.
Oh how we lie to deny you.

Show me your tiny hands.
Empty, holding nothing.
Grasping for my everything.

Fire why burn inside.
Hush while you die.
No more cry.
Fly. Fly. Fly.

Carole Turner 7/09

The War of Art

A month ago I twittered about how I knew God had a book in me but I never sat down to start writing it. Tom Davis (the author of Scared, the book I raved about a couple post back and a book you should definitely read) twittered back to me that I should read the book "The War of Art". Well I of course ordered it immediately since this great author and advocate for the poor had recommended it. I read it on vacation.

Wow, seriously, that book should be read by any artist, writer, poet, anyone who is creative or thinks they should be creative.

I will say my only disclaimer is that this guy cusses like a sailor and his views on many things are not Christian. He does believe we are all here for a purpose, put here by God, but I don't think he's a Christian. SO, if your one of those people that get offended easy or can't learn from a book by an unbeliever then you will not like this book. BUT you will be missing out big time if you are a creative person needing motivation or direction, cuz' this guy nails it...I really do believe God gave this wisdom and knowledge to the author to share with all creative people.

Here are some quotes I twittered from the book while on vacation...

"most important thing about art is to work nothing else matters except sitting down everyday and trying"

"sign of the amateur is over glorification of & preoccupation with mystery. The pro shuts up. Doesn't talk about it. She does her work"

"The more scared we are of a work or calling,the more sure we can be that we have to do it"

"the counterfeit innovator is wildly confident. The real one is scared to death."

While reading this book I realized why I submersed myself in the works of Tolkien and Lewis for so long, it's because I envied their creativity, their works, I wanted to learn from them but then I became consumed by my supposed inability to create like they did. I lived through their works instead of creating the work inside of me.

Steven Pressfield the Author, talks a lot about people who want it all before they start writing, so they never start writing BUT we have to start writing then it will come.

That is me.

While reading this I felt convicted, challenged, awakened and so freakishly encouraged to get after it, no matter the outcome.

So thanks Tom Davis, you were already a hero of mine for your life work with Orphans and the poor, and for writing Scared, now you are even more of a hero for suggesting I read a book that kicked my butt properly.

Ethiopia food and friends

We are still on vacation, right now we are in Tennessee at my friend Kristy's house. We went to Dawn and Bernie's in Indiana, on Tuesday and had a really great time. We all went to eat Ethiopian food, and Abel and Tes loved getting to see each other again.

It was so cool because they got to see each other again exactly 5 months to the day since they arrived in America and last saw each other.

I will post more when I get back but here are some pictures..

Tes with Abel and Steele at the Ethiopian Restaurant..

Evangeline and I enjoying some of the best coffee in the world!!

Abel, Taylor and Bailey (Dawn and Bernie's boys) with Steele, Tes, and Evangeline

Bernie, Taylor Dawn, Bailey, Steele, Tes, Evangeline, Abel, me and Dean

Tes and Abel

There are more pictures from our entire trip on my Facebook..

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=86461&id=547874556&l=b3af4439e5

Pictures from Arica's Wedding

Our beautiful kids before the wedding, of course Steele has his tongue out :-p


Dean and I before the wedding..


Evangeline and some of the cousin's dancing at the reception..


Dean's dad and step mom Peggy dancing..


The kids with Dean's mom Brenda and her boyfriend Dutch (this is who Evangeline looks like, she has Brenda's type and everything)


Arin (Dean's Niece) Maid of Honor giving her speech to her sister, the bride, Arica..look how stunningly beautiful both these girls are!!


Dean with Arica at the wedding..


My handsome men.

You can see all the pictures on my Facebook page, click HERE

Scared

I read this last night till 1:30am. I have not recovered. I cried and cried and cried. It has left me undone. I know God is using this story. It's fiction based on real lives, real people that Tom Davis has encountered in Swaziland.

What's crazy is, Dean has said many times that he would move to Swaziland and work at the Healing Place Church Dream Center that is being built there if he was asked too. He's been to Swaziland, last year on a missions trip. He said the best part of the trip was going to the Care Points and helping the GoGo's feed the kids (the Care Points and the Gogo's are talked about in this book) he also talked about how beautiful the country is yet so filled with parentless children due to AIDS. But even though I have friends Ben and Susan Rogers, that are there leading the HPC Campus, and even though I have a place in my heart for an AIDS Orphan there named Peppe, after going to Ethiopia, I felt like that was where I wanted to eventually wind up living one day. So, my heart was in Ethiopia and Dean's in Swaziland. But God has used this book to pull my heart more to Swaziland.

The story this book tells is the story of millions of Orphans around the world, I know this to be a very sad reality. Tom Davis does a great job of sucking you into the lives of these characters, making you feel like you are walking through their life with them and since all of the people are based on real people, sometimes it's almost too painful for me to read.

Also, having Abel home now makes reading about AIDS Orphans even more heart wrenching. Just in 5 months I have come to know how much children suffer and are abused when there is no parent to care for them. Loving parents that don't abuse. I think of what Abel's live would be like right now, had we not adopted him and I think of all the boys, living on the streets in Ethiopia, that have no family, no parents, and ARE living the unthinkable life of abuse and abusing, drugs, stealing, death. Oh how I wish that every person feeling the tug to adopt and older child, would do it and not fear. These kids need us.

But besides adoption, there is also what C Thomas Davis talks about as the Big picture. How do we help places like Swaziland heal? How do we help Orphans stay with extended family? Prevent more kids from being Orphaned by AIDS? This book, even though fiction, really does a good job at showing how local pastors, Care Points, advocacy for the children, etc. can and is helping. We must do more, everyone must do more.

Sure, I am passionate about this issue, I know everyone cant adopt or should adopt but everyone reading this blog can send $5.00 a month to an organization like Children's Cup, or Hope Chest, organizations that are providing education, medical care, emotional and spiritual support.

I hope and pray you read this book.



http://scaredthebook.com/

I think it is arrogant to be "offended". It implies that you are somehow in a position of superiority. You're not.

That quote is from my friend Karen's blog. It's amazing and raw and great so go read it often.

When I first read it I was like "Dang!" Cuz' really, taking offense is what church world is all about. Yes, it's true, don't act like it aint. Do you go to church? Have you ever been offended by someone at church? a leader? a friend? Ever heard someone go off on a tangent about how offended they are that so and so did such and such? Ever see people leave a church cuz' they were offended? have you ever left a church because you were offended? And I wonder how many of us really great Christians are currently offended by someone in leadership at our church? I really believe that the greatest tool of the enemy in the body of Christ is Offense.

I am sure that I offend many of the people I do life with. I mean really, think about it, I live in Baton Rouge Louisiana, I go to a very Conservative southern church, although HPC is non denominational, I would say that Healing Place is a mix of Baptist and Pentecostal. So, the majority of people I am with constantly, believe stuff like, The Left Behind Series is a spot on fictional dramatization of what is to come, I don't. They think Perry Stone is right,I never do really, (He's a great guy and Dean loves to watch him, I just disagree with his theology) I believe most of the book of Revelations was fulfilled in the first century. I think Obama is as much of a Christian as Bush or McCain, the Republican party is just as evil as the Democratic party, the death penalty should be abolished and drinking is not a sin. ALL these things are NOT what 99% of my church believes..YET, I love, love, love my church and I truly, without a doubt, 100% know they love me.

Sure, I get offended by some things that are said that directly or indirectly attack what I believe to be true. But so what. Seriously, it is arrogant for me to get offended. And it's arrogant for others to get offended and stomp off to another church where THERE they will find things to get offended about.

What connects me to the HPC people, my church family, is the love we have for each other in spite of our differences. AND the common goal of reaching people with the love of Christ...I can NOT be offended by the things we disagree on because of the great LOVE I know we all have for each other!! I don't need them to agree with me on these other, non salvation related issues in order for us to love God first and love our neighbor second, together as a family...we agree on THAT all important issue.

I think the key is, when we DO get offended, then forgive, move on, and realize we are all messed up humans, even the guy who thinks I'm an idiot for liking Obama, thinks he's so much more educated and enlightened and hears from God way more then me, I have to forgive him and not let him offend me, even if I offend him. I have to walk in love and mercy.

I think it is arrogant to be "offended". It implies that you are somehow in a position of superiority. You're not.

Thanks Karen for reminding us to get over our selves, we are not superior...Grace to all.

I used to not have a car..

I left home at 17 and started working at Jimmy Swaggart Ministries for $4.50 and hour. My first room mate lived in a one bedroom apartment and I slept on the couch. I worked at Swaggart's for 4 years and got up to $7.50 an hour before I left.

When I was 20 I went to work at Comtel, which later became Worldcom. (yes, THE worldcom and Bernie Ebbers was our big boss. He was very nice the couple of times I met him) I still only made $7.50 an hour, and now I could ride the city bus to work but for most things I had to rely on people for rides A LOT!! It was humiliating.

I couldn't save money. I wanted to go out to eat with my friends in the youth group that lived at home in the suburbs and went to college. They all went to eat at Rax after church or Chili's. They drove cars given to them by their parents, the same parents that paid for them to go to college and live in the dorms.

But my parents couldn't afford any of that. I quit high school in the 11th grade, moved away from home and went to work. So, I was needy. Groceries, clothes, rides, money, I always borrowed money from people. I was that girl who didn't have a car, never had money and depended on the handouts and kindness of others to make it through each day. I was that girl that could have NOT gone out to eat with her friends, could have saved and bought a car but instead acted irresponsibly.

My mom sold me her old Mazda GLC once, I never completed paying for it before it died. Once a boyfriend gave me his old Chevet (which I was driving one day and the hood flew up and hit the windshield! I promptly tied that sucker down with a rope!) then my dad gave me another old car years later and when he did I gave the Chevet away.

When Dean and I got married I was 27 years old, he was 22 and neither of us had a vehicle.

The other day I was giving *Rachel a ride home from church. She needed to stop at the dollar store for pull ups, then the convenience store for Cigarettes. She offered me gas money for taking her these places, I refused it. I used to be her.

God is so gentle and kind, his people shine brightest when they are giving and knowing HE will repay. Thank you friends and family that gave me rides, lent or gave me money, extended grace to me when I acted irresponsibly and loved me even when I was a burden. You shined and now I get to do the same for people, thank you for being Jesus to me.

Monday, we pray for Orphans..

A Prayer for the Fatherless

by Jason Kovacs

“Father of the fatherless and protector of widows
is God in his holy habitation.
God settles the solitary in a family.” Psalm 68:5-6

Father,
I pray for the thousands of children here in the US who are without a father to call their own and for the millions around the world who are longing for a daddy.
I praise You that You care more about the fatherless than anyone.
You are their defender, their protector, their sustainer.
You are their Father when they have none.
I praise You that we can trust in You to work your purposes in each one of these children’s lives.
I praise You for how you are at work to provide them with earthly fathers.
That it is Your heart to place them in families.
Lord, have mercy! Don’t leave them as orphans!
Magnify yourself in pouring out your mercy in their lives here and around the world!
Stir your church to visit orphans in their affliction and make visible the glorious gospel!
Awaken the church to the need and the awesome opportunity to minister to the “least of these” and in doing so, to care for Jesus! O the thought of that is amazing. Overwhelming!
Move us, shake us, break us O Lord to have your Father’s heart this day for those who need a father.
In all this, I pray in the name of Jesus, that you would do more than I could ask or imagine for the sake of your name and the joy of the fatherless!
Amen.

http://abbafund.wordpress.com

Block Party

That's right, we dance when Big A brings the God honoring funk on down to funky town.

We had a great block party yesterday on the corner of 38th and Bradly. We had games, bingo, music, food, slip and slide, crafts, face painting, nail painting, and live rapping from Big A. We had a blast, as we always do at the block parties..even in 93 degree heat! Yes, you read right 93 degrees!!


The kids stayed cooled off by playing on the Slip and Slide..


This is my E doing a little girls nails in 93 degree heat..


and this is Emily, Pastor Matt from the Rock church in Wilmington NC. (they are here on a missions trip) and Aaron reaching to pick Matt's nose :-)


The beauty queens of the bock party, my E and Caroline Boutte...


Steele and Abel playing with their favorite person in the world, Jonas Boutte..


Bingo! The community loves playin Mrs. Barbara Conti's block party Bingo...even when its 93 degrees outside.


These guys were the hottest guys at the block party, literally, because they were cooking burgers in 93 degree heat!


And here's my family, look how flushed and hot they look from all the food, fun and SUN..did I mention it was 93 degrees outside!!

You can see more pictures on my facebook, Block Party June09

New TOMS

I love my TOMS. I prefer the Canvas over any of the other styles, so I got a pair of SERVE Red ones, as I like to call them. When I saw Tori O. wearing these a few weeks back with her SERVE shirt, I knew I had to steal her look.

E got the "Villa" style. These have statistics all over them, "If the World was a village of 100 people" so it has stuff written on it like "1 would have AIDS, 3 are slaves, 40 have no shoes.." really cool shoe.

TOMS are freaky comfortable and just knowing that when I buy a pair of shoes for $45.00 a person that doesn't have shoes, gets a pair, that makes them even better.

In Ethiopia, where TOMS gives out shoes, many kids and adults are without shoes and get a very debilitating disease called Podoconiosis, watch this video...



People get overwhelmed with all the issues in the world that need help, they think there is no way they can make a difference but we all shop, we all wear shoes, so why not buy a pair of shoes that when you do, that purchase puts a pair of shoes on a persons feet who doesn't have any?

Like I tell Evangeline, what we buy and don't buy says alot about what we value. I try to purchase with a conscious..TOMS is doing a good thing.

Buy some, you will love them!

tomsshoes.com

Update, 6/21/09: I couldn't post this yesterday but we got Dean some too for Fathers Day, the Denim ones and he loves them!

From where I sit

I took this picture sitting at my computer, looking out the window onto the back car port. This is where my boys STAY!! That's a big bowl of popcorn, they are sitting on TOP of the table eating. A little break before going back to riding bikes, playing with the wagon, farting on Cleo, farting on each other, Talking about farting, bickering some and laughing, a lot.

Watching my kids is sometimes very overwhelming for me. I wish I had a better vocabulary to describe the almost unbearable emotions I feel. OH MY GOSH!! These are my kids.

Look at Steele! I could kiss his face right off!! How are you so stinking cute and such a Rascal at the same time my sweet baby boy? You make me laugh so much. What a wonderful gift you are Steele.

Evangeline. My sunshine.My helper. You are so sweet and kind and a servant. I see Jesus in you my baby girl...oh wait, your not a baby anymore, sad and joyful I am at the thought of you growing up.

Abel. Oh my dear Abel Joseph Gebre Medhin Turner! How did we ever live without you? How did Evangeline and Steele live without you? Your little snicker, your kind heart, your joy? Oh how we knew something was missing, and it was you!

One

ht: http://www.osterinklink.blogspot.com

Midnight Outreach with NCC

We had a group here from National Community Church last Friday night that went with us on Midnight Outreach. They were led by Pastor Joel, who was way cool and the team was so helpful and eager to serve.


Of course we hit the Top Ten bar and the bouncers were happy to see us as always. They love the chocolate we bring them but one of them requested fruit next time..He's trying to slim down. I would totally love to do a fruit outreach ;-) Anyway, This is a picture of some of our small or normal size guys posing with the huge bouncers of the Top Ten. Pastor Joel is almost as tall but not quite (back right corner).

After Top Ten we went to the Alamo Hotel as usual. We had gotten word that the owner of the Alamo had kicked a group out last Monday night that were trying to do outreach there. He told them that we were not welcome back because when Gustav came and we gave all the tenants food and supplies, the tenants left trash everywhere. But we went any way and prayed we could still do our normal Midnight Outreach.

We drove in, everyone got out and started walking around giving out Chocolate and Roses, gift bags to the kids and inviting people to church. Dean saw and Indian man walking up and asked him if he would like some Chocolates,

"No! I don't want nothing from you people!"

"Why? It's free." Dean responded.

"I don't take nothing for free! Why are you people here?" the guy said.

"We come out once a month and bring Chocolates to the guys, Roses to the ladies, gifts to the kids, and invite people to church, pray with them, stuff like that. We pick up here on Sunday if you want to come to church." Dean said.

The guy then told him that he was the owner of the Alamo, yea, the one who kicked the group out on Monday night. He also told Dean that giving stuff to these people only made them not work. But every time the guy would try to be harsh and mad, Dean would just talk to him normal and by the end of the conversation the guy was allowing Dean to put a sign up in the lobby letting people know that we pick up there on Sundays.

Dean treated this angry man just like we treat the pimps, bouncers, drug dealers, users and the homeless guys we encounter and reach out to on Midnight Outreach-with Kindness and respect, and in so doing, this owner of the Alamo's angry heart soften.



We also received some good Bar B Q from some people staying at the Alamo. They were cooking it outside their room in the parking lot. We went up to them, gave them chocolates and the lady a rose and before long we were all praying together. As we were leaving the guy came up to Donna and gave her this plate for the team. It was so touching because these people gave out of their lack (if you have ever been to the Alamo, you know what I'm talking about) but they wanted to bless us and it truly was a great blessing.

I have said it before and I will say it many more times. I am so grateful that HPC lets us do this outreach. I love my church.

New House

Serious Curb appeal!


When you walk in my door, Africa greets you..welcome!


My living room, note the Rooster in it's rightful place!


And now I have a wall above my toilet just the right size for my Frodo poster. It's like that space was made for him. Just like my friend Karen who has a picture of Elvis lacquered on wood above hers, sometimes you just know it's right...

My back is still way sore, but this house is wonderful and I thank God for it.

I'll be back blogging as soon as I have some real time. Got a lot I want to talk about but there just hasn't been the time to really do it.

Rock on!

Start...

I watched this while on my break, it was posted on Carlos Whittakers blog This is what he wrote:

"A few things I think we can learn from this video.
1. One man can start a movement.
2. A movement need not be started by the most skilled member of the movement.
3. When beginning your movement and you look around and no one else is joining the dance, just keep dancing.
4. When the one guy who joins your movement slowly fades away, keep going.
5. Before you know it, the people joining your movement won’t even know you started it.
6. When your movement takes a life of it’s own, just let go. There will be no stopping it.
7. The very people who are staring at you like your nuts as you move alone, will be the very same people dancing the hardest in the end.

Keep dancing kids, Keep dancing."

I love it and couldn't say it better. But I will add, this is my dream for all my kids. I want them to dance and sing with their arms spread out embracing the wonder of God in the moments when joy and mirth flood their souls. Cry if they want to, fly if they want to, be free and not swayed by embarrassment or what others may think. I pray they lead and even if no one joins in the dance. I pray they dance anyway!

Slangin' some fresh Christianese

I have some new Slang terms that I coined while on break. Ed Young Jr. made an instructional video for church leaders where he talks about preachers that say "crap, sucks", etc. and tells them not too. No, I'm not a preacher, I also don't like the word "sucks" but everyone knows I say Crap so since I thought the video was silly I figured I'd have fun with it and create some new words for preachers to use..and for me to use :-)

Fry Daddy Cooker (when you stump your toe or break something kinda valuable)

Sargent Pepper ( use this in place of the S or D word, it's casual)

Farfignugan (Actual meaning:"The completion of the act of rubbing jellied figs in to ones hair and underarms". Great word!! My shank friends will appreciate me pulling this one out from the 80's)

Barbara Streisand, (Yes, I stole this one from Rush Limbaugh, I used to listen to him religiously for over 10 yrs, and Evangeline really did think this is what B.S. stood for! ha!)

and the big daddy expletive to be used for very special occasions..

Johnny Cockran

Good to be back Online

Breaks are good, needed, but thank God they are just a break.

I realized during my time away that this is definitely one arena of communication that is meant for me. It is a tool I am supposed to use to do what God has called me to do BUT on the very same hand is accountability, self control and submission to the proper order of life. God first and over all, my family second and ministry next. THIS Internet is part of my ministry. Advocating for Orphans and hurting and vulnerable children, here and everywhere.

It's easy to quit something, It's not so easy to use self control which is what's required here. I am not saying I wont take anymore breaks in the future, mine was good cuz' it wasn't a complete shut off but I really do feel God is telling me I have to do this and submit it all to him.

So that's what I will strive to do.



Kids are doing great! Abel is really doing good. Seems to be loving life. He is driving us crazy wanting to pack and work! I can't believe I just said that but it's hard when he always wants to pack and there are just some things he cant pack. But it is also a wonderful trait. He's such a hard worker. And have I said lately how sweet and kind he is? Evangeline and I were just talking last night about how good his is. And I get lots of lovin' daily! There is no hesitation or holding back. Hugs, kisses, sitting with me. It really is great.



I look at all the kids together and it really is freaky how much love they have for each other. No gap, nothing missing for them, just brothers and sister.



Jordan Earles asked me to sing with him a couple times over the last month at Jones Creek Cafe where he plays every Friday night. I sang Landslide By Fleetwood mac and Crazy by Patsy Cline. I love to sing and I'm glad I am getting to do it more lately.



We had Pamper Night for the Ladies at HPC last Monday night. I brought two really great ladies. They loved getting pampered and they saw Jesus shining brightly in the hands that gave them Pedicures, Manicures, Eyebrow waxing and a Message. I love my church.





We are moving. So I need to go load the van.

I'm back!!!!

It's almost 11pm, I have been packing and moving with a hurt back so I am too tired to really blog tonight but I do have a computer now so yea!!

I will just leave you with some butter vocals. No this is not new stuff.This is old Mindy Smith that I rediscovered while on my break...her voice is butter...

enjoy.

Life in the break

So this "break" is winding down. By next weekend I should not only have a lap top but also a desk top computer. I've been able to go to the library and get on the computer and also like now, friends like Summer Kelly and Jennifer Jarreau let me come over and use theirs so with that and having access to e-mail and some Internet on my phone, it's not like I have been on a complete fast but whatever you want to call it, I am glad it will be over soon.



We are moving this week! Yea, we found a great house, it's within walking distance of Walmart and a little seafood restaurant! Good good. God really does take care of us and I want to give all glory to him for us finding a great house and having the money to get it.

So, I have started to pack, Abel is a great packer so is Evangeline, Steele not so much :-) We will be moving on Wednesday night if anyone wants to come help us :-)


I have so much inside that I want to blog about. I really feel like God has a lot for me to write. From politics to boys with third nipples I have had many topics I wanted to blog about but couldn't and it's kinda bubbling over...see you all in a couple days..after we get moved and I get my new computers.

Till then Rock on!

"I love Baseball Mom"

As we drove down the road headed to the library yesterday, Steele said "mom, Abel's crying." I looked back and saw tears rolling down his cheeks. I said "Abel, what's wrong?" He told me he was sad and I asked him why. "I miss Baseball Mom. I never gonna play it again." I told him "Yes, yes you will, next year, right when you turn 8 baseball will start up again." He continued to look out the car window as the tears ran down his face.



The season just ended last Saturday. He did great, hit good, caught balls in the air, ran fast and always had to have me sitting in the stands cheering for him. He would look over to me constantly to make sure I was still there. He loved his coaches too and his team mates, especially Coach Matthew.



I tried to comfort him by telling him he could play baseball at home or at the park with Sissy and Steele and daddy until next season started and it seem to make him feel better.



Even though Soccer is coming up in a couple months, which he played all the time in Ethiopia, Baseball now holds his heart. Right after his first game he said " I love baseball mom!"

He had never played it before coming to America.

Me

Some days I am like her...

but most days I am more her.

Wish I had her hair.

I like to use the term "go Gretchen Wilson on..." meaning get mad at fight, tell people to kiss off or just be pi#$ed off for a while.

But that is not at all like Mother Theresa. She was full of grace and selfless and did her best to follow the example Jesus set in how he reacted to smack talking stupid people.

Ok, new term: "Go Mother Theresa on..." I need to say that more.

Grace to all.

My heart

Knock on a cup

We finally had Steele's Birthday party..only a couple weeks late :-)
Here are some pics..


The group at CiCi's pizza, where we had the party..


Steele's eyeing his birthday Cinnamon Rolls before I lit it to sing Happy Birthday...


And later in the day Jonas gave Steele the gift he wanted most. On Saturday while at the ball part Jonas said "Steele, what do you want for your birthday?" Steele said "a cup like you have so I can knock on it like this" then he proceeded to knock on Jonas's cup..that he was wearing at the time :-)

That's my Steele.

After Jonas gave it to him, he promptly put it on and started knocking!

"..the best of times the worst of times..."

That is a Charles Dicken's Quote. I used to love Dickens. He said that at the beginning of a Tale of Two Cities. I liked Oliver Twist better then Tale of Two Cities, go figure.

I have been without a computer for over a week. It's been both great and terrible.

So much life is happening that I want to blog about. Inside and out "some strange things are a-foot.." (another quote, this time from the movie, Bill and Tedd's Excellent Adventures).

I have started mentoring *Rachel, an ex drug addict, fresh from jail pregnant mother and God is showing me himself so much through this relationship. Last week I got to take a friend of hers, very similar life situation, to the doctors also. We are all going to Pamper Night on June 8th. I love that God put us together. Wow, is all I can say. Where some may think I am doing a "good" thing, I know God is doing a great and wonderful work in all of us and I am a recipient of the good thing.

Did I mention Rachael was raised in the foster system? Yea, God is moving.

Abel is loving the daily playing of Shoots and Ladders and the reading time. He's not talking about dieing anymore. I think the classical music I put on at bed time has helped him with his dreams. He says he doesn't remember them now, instead of that they were full of monsters. That is really good.

As a family we have scaled back on our volunteering so we can be at home more, together, reading, playing games and of course watching Sponge Bob, Abel's favorite TV show.

THIS is hard for me. I am not the stay home mom. Me, Dean and all my kids have always gone and volunteered together, we did After School, Friday Thrive, Baseball, basketball, Soccer, spent all day on Sunday at the Dream Center "doing" but now, we are not doing any of that. Even Sunday is gonna be a much shorter day. Sure, Abel always acted fine being there, busy, playing while we worked usually, but It's still not the same as connecting, bonding, attaching at home with your immediate family. It's hard to explain but what matters is we get it. We will do what is needed for him to be a full complete part of our family. I have no interest in raising an Orphan that we adopted. I want to raise my son. He's my son, Dean's son, Evangeline's brother, and Steele's brother. He was not our for 7 years, I get that, I know it will never be exactly the same as if he was, BUT I also know that my goal is for him to recognize and appreciate his past, but also to be able to let it go enough to embrace his future with us as his family. Yes, all of you that say "oh wow, he calls you mom?" he does because I am now..and forever.

I miss my computer terribly. It will be at least another week before we get one, maybe two weeks. I twittered a couple days ago that Evangeline said she liked us not having a computer cuz' I spent more time with them and didn't get mad when they talked to me. Some people got way to much "I told you so" joy out of that. I wonder how many gleeful "I told you so" people work away from home in an office where they have their computer time? How many of them are writers, researchers and advocate internationally for Orphan care through the Internet, from home, like I do? I know I spent too much time on the computer, but not as much as many would think and when I took the computer back I knew I would be without one for a while, I also knew I needed that time to jump start our new phase of connecting with Abel.

I'm learning not to Twitter everything...kinda.

So yea..the best of times the worst of times fits perfectly...

"Life's a garden Dig it!" (that quote is from the Movie Joe Dirt)

Life without a computer

That's been me since Wednesday. We took ours back cuz it was a piece of crap lap top that froze up all the time. So now, I am at Summer's using her computer to blog.

It has been really hard, I miss having a computer BAD!!

But life goes on, even when you cant blog about it.

Here's some snippets from the last couple days;

Abel is doing good. He's grieving now and we are working through his questions and just trying to love on him. It's part of the process and I am very thankful that he feels free to tell us how he feels and ask us questions. I love him so much. Everyday the love grows between us all and I'm excited about his future.

Steele turned five on Thursday! I told him to stop growing up but he said he cant. I love his little scratchy voice, that I know he will grow out of but the good thing is his fluffy pillow lips will always be with him and I pray he never out grows kissing me with them.

Evangeline is at the Navigate retreat. Navigate is the HPC student ministries summer intern program. That's why I feel I don't need to teach E bible courses during the school year, she gets it all in the summer, from her Navigate classes :-)

Finally a funny, painful story. I was driving to Thrive on Friday in the church van. It was my first time back at Thrive since November! I was excited to be going and even more excited that I was bringing *Rachael, an unwed mother that just got out of jail, been clean from drugs for 6 months and is giving her baby up for adoption, and has been coming to church at the Dream Center and Thrive each week.

As I started to drive down Airline Hwy, I felt a shooting pain in my back hip, like picture far left cheek, no, wait, stop, don't picture that..anyway. It got worse fast and before I knew it I had to pop a half a Lortab! It helped me make it through Thrive (which was great) and then I crashed. I think I have been laying in the bed on a hot pad, popping Motrin ever since.

BUT I did get up and go to the ball park for a couple hours and I took Abel to his first ever trip to the library. He loved it.

That's it for now. I'm praying I get a computer soon..

Oh, in the mean time, please check out my friend Karen's blog. She is my favorite writer of all times and now she is opening up about her life and being very raw...I love her!

karensporch.blogspot.com

Cajun Ethiopian Red Beans

Brown Rice
Bag of Red Kidney beans
Pork chops
Berbere Ethiopian spice
Tony's Chacheres Creole seasoning
Onion
Chicken Broth

Brown your onion in olive oil (2 onions), season with salt, pepper n garlic salt. Push onions out of the way and brown your pork chops. Sprinkly in about 3 tlb. spoons of Berbere. Add the chicken broth (I only used about 1 cup) and your water for cooking the beans like the directions say on the bag now add the beans. Sprinkle in some Tony's (maybe 2 tlb spoons?) then let it all cook for about 2 hours or until beans are tender.

I used brown rice and I put a stick of butter in the pot when the rice was done and put the lid back on so all the butter melted down into the rice and I sprinkled in some salt.

AND It was an amazingly wonderful Cajun-Ethiopian meal! EVERYONE loved it!!

Adopting a child with HIV

So in case you were wondering why the talk of adopting an orphan with HIV AIDS. Well because we feel our next adoption will be a child with HIV AIDS. Dean is still cautiously quiet...but he is aware of my current correspondence with Project Hopeful Founder and Director, Carolyn Tweitmeyer concerning plans for our future.

"Hello Carolyn,
In about 4 to 6 months we would like to begin the process of adopting a girl with HIV from Africa. We are thinking we would like her to be anywhere from birth to 4 yrs old. Can you put us on the list to receive pictures and information about waiting children?
Also, do you know if it will be a problem to adopt a child with HIV since my 13yr old daughter has type one diabetes and does frequent finger sticks to draw blood? I am not worried about her getting AIDS but I didn't know if legally there would be an issue.
I covet your prayers for us concerning this process. My husband is more cautious then I am Thanks for all you do and for inspiring and encouraging others.
Grace, Carole Turner "
__________________

"Hi Carole!
There is ABSOLUTELY nothing to worry about with finger sticksetc...NOTHING legally or medically..There is NOT a single case of transmission within a family or at school or anything in normal living! It would be GREAT if you could be here for our workshop in July at Universityof Chicago....after this one we will be doing webinars with U of C...I will forward your info to Lelie, that takes care of our Waiting Childlist... I will check my "desk jumpers' that I have now.. :)...I will SOOOOOOOOOOO pray for you and your family in this. It is abeautiful thing...BEAUTIFUL...Loving the MOST vulnerable children in the world...GLORIOUS...All for ONE.
Carolyn Twietmeyer
Founder, Executive Director
Project HOPEFUL, NFP
EDUCATING, ENCOURAGING and ENABLING families to adopt children with HIV/AIDS.
"A FATHER of the FATHERLESS and protector of widows is God in His holyhabitation. God places the lonely IN FAMILIES and gives the desolate AHOME in which to dwell;" Ps 68:5-6"
________________

Of course, this is all in God's hands and we are praying about every step. We don't think any of this will happen before 2010. Cool thing is that since sending that E-mail I have found out that the adoption agency we used to adopt Abel is in the middle of handling their first adoption of an HIV positive child from Ethiopia.

I have also learned how ignorant I really was about HIV AIDS. I honestly thought I would be adopting a child that would die young, I now know that is not necessarily the case.

So, what questions do you have about this? If you are a person in our lives, what concerns would you have if we had a child with HIV?

No question is off limits. I am still learning about all this myself.

Project Hopeful, helping AIDS Orphans

I see these necklaces and I think of Pepe, a 12 year old AIDS Orphan in Swaziland Africa. She is the size of a 5 yr old because of her illness. There have been many times where she was near death due to lack of medication because her surviving relative would delay giving the permission needed to give Pepe AIDS medication. See, the stigma of just the word "AIDS" being attached to a person is still very real in Swaziland and many countries.

BUT Pepe is now getting the care she needs thanks to organizations helping AIDS orphans around the world. Children's Hope Chest, Children's Cup, and groups like This one, Project Hopeful, all of them are working in one way or another to help AIDS Orphans.

Project Hopeful's role in AIDS Orphan care is to help these kids find families, get adopted. Yes, adopted. It is doable, it needs to be done and the mission of Project HOPEFUL is to encourage, educate, and enable parents adopting children with HIV/AIDS.



Click and order a necklace or a shirt to help raise awareness and also fund this great organization so they can further help AIDS Orphans to be Orphans no more..

In regards to adoption, children with HIV are being placed from Vietnam, Guatemala, Ethiopia and Brazil as well as several other countries. Chances By Choice, an organization that advocates and educates with the goal of finding adoptive families for children with HIV, has available children listed on their website in Vietnam, Ethiopia, Liberia, Haiti and Russia. There are some children born HIV positive in the United States that are available for adoption as well, but with the medications available to HIV+ pregnant women resulting in a remotely small chance of the disease being passed on to their babies, there are relatively small numbers of HIV+ children now being born in the U.S.The adoption process typically goes the same as any other adoption from the country the child is in, however if it is an international adoption, there is an extra step, the HIV waiver, during the immigration process, which adds time and paperwork to the process.

http://transracial.adoptionblogs.com/weblogs/hiv-children-can-be-adopted

--What you should know about HIV--

-HIV can NOT be spread through casual/household contact. HIV is not spread through hugging, kissing, shaking hands, sharing toys, sneezing, coughing, sharing food, sharing drinks, bathing, swimming or any other casual way. It has been proven that HIV and AIDS can only be spread through sexual contact, birth, breastfeeding and blood to blood contact (such as sharing needles).

- HIV is now considered a chronic but manageable disease. With treatment, people who are HIV+ can live indefinitely without developing AIDS and can live long and full lives.

- People who are HIV+ deserve to be treated with love, respect, support and acceptance as all people do.

If anyone wants more info on transmission, there is great info on the Center for Disease Control website at http://www.cdc.gov/hiv/resources/factsheets/transmission.htm

Follow Project Hopeful on Twitter http://www.twitter.com/projecthopeful

Visit the Project hopeful web site, projecthopeful.org and watch the video of the Twietmeyer's own AIDS Orphan adoption story.

We all have a role to play in Orphan care..what is your role? Is it to sponsor a child? Mentor a fatherless teen? Fund an orphanage? Help and unwed mother? Rescue a child prostitute? Adopt or help someone with the finances to adopt?

Please ask God today what He would have you do...to help Orphans be Orphans no more.